You don’t apologise, Mr Annamalai, instead let’s play Animal Farm

We were in an edit meeting when the ‘breaking news’ happened: BJP Tamil Nadu president K Annamalai has called journalists monkeys. I laughed, and some of my colleagues in the meeting weren’t amused, probably because I wasn’t outraged. I played the video. There he was, Annamalai, frowning like a – well, an irritated human being – surrounded by his wide-eyed party cadre on one side and journalists thrusting microphones at him on the other. “Why are you jumping like monkeys,” an angry Annamalai asked reporters who were hounding him with questions which he either didn’t want to answer or didn’t have answers to.

Later, another group of journalists in Chennai demanded his apology (What went unnoticed and uncriticised, however, was Annamalai calling an unnamed politician ‘naay’ (dog) and ‘pey’ (ghost) in the same interaction). The BJP leader would have none of it. “I didn’t call journalists monkeys; I asked why journalists are jumping like monkeys asking for bytes and not allowing me to speak …

I didn’t call a journalist, ‘hey brother, monkey’.” For all those who asked if they don’t test logic and common sense for civil service aspirants, here was Annamalai’s clincher: If I say you walked like a tiger or clawed like a tiger, does it mean you are a tiger? “If you are a tiger,
now leap,” he told journalists who wanted him to say sorry. Then he made a policy statement: “I will not apologise. It’s not in my blood.”
Now I wasn’t alone laughing. I wasn’t offended because of two reasons: One, a comparison with our ancestors is not a bad thing; two, it was Annamalai who made the comparison. The thing about Annamalai is that he is funny even when he doesn’t intend to be funny – especially when he gets angry, which is most of
the time.

Now, look at the lighter – or brighter – side. Annamalai has made clear the difference between calling someone something and using metaphors. If you say Annamalai brayed like a donkey, it doesn’t mean the BJP state president is a donkey, it just means the way he spoke resembled the braying of a donkey (with due respect to donkeys). If you say Annamalai roared like a lion (apologies to lions if they feel insulted), it doesn’t mean he is a lion; it just means his speech sounded thus to his ever-grinning BJP cadres.

Now that Annamalai has opened the gates of a political animal farm, let’s have some fun. Why don’t you, dear reader, assign an animal for your favourite political leader’s actions and gestures?

Here are a few prompts:
Narendra Modi poses for cameras
like a …
Rahul Gandhi walks like a …
M K Stalin cycles like a …
Edappadi K Palaniswami grins like a …
O Panneerselvam frowns like a …
V K Sasikala cries like a …

Don’t feel bad about calling anyone a pig or a donkey, for, in George Orwell’s Animal Farm, these animals have served as allegories of great men: Old Major, the white boar, is the inspiration for revolution, an allegory to a combination of Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin; Napoleon, the Berkshire pig, signifies Joseph Stalin; Benjamin, a donkey is the wisest of the animals in the farm (such was the character’s resemblance to the author that some of Orwell’s friends called him ‘Donkey George’).

My only concern is that animal lovers may take offence to those lovely creatures being compared to our politicians.