Narcissistic bosses are known to talk the talk but never walk the walk.
Anyone who has been exposed to or has worked for a narcissistic boss has seen firsthand the havoc they wreak on other’s lives. Narcissists are known for making fantastic first impressions due to their ability to charm leaving candidates to accept job offers without knowing what they’re truly getting into. Eventually though, they feel duped as they discover that their boss isn’t the person they portrayed rather a narcissist in disguise. A narcissist boss is easy to spot.
Here are a few warning signs of one
- They’re reactive
- “All talk and no action”
- Dodge accountability
- Micromanagers
- Have no respect for others or their boundaries
- Gaslighters
- Lack empathy
- Extremely sensitive to criticism
- Think everyone who doesn’t agree with them is against them
They’re the ones always talking about leadership but never living out what they preach. Mike Chappell, founder of Formspal, said, “narcissistic bosses create an atmosphere that’s poisonous for nearly everyone who must interact with them.” Not only is teamwork lost, but the workplace becomes more stressful resulting in a decline in productivity and happiness.
A common pattern of a narcissist boss is high employee churn. A Gallup study found, 75% of employees left their job not because of the job itself but because of their boss. Harry Morton, founder of LowerStreet, said, “everyone knows that when people quit a job, more than likely it’s because of a bad manager. With a bad manager who’s also a narcissist, the revolving door is not only constant, but the damage to morale and individual staff is enormously high.”
Here are five warning signs your boss is a narcissist.
Retaliates Against Anyone Who Doesn’t Agree With Them
Narcissists are known to surround themselves only with people who agree with them. These individuals are known as yes (wo)men. They’re the ones who are afraid to challenge or disagree with their boss, hold them accountable or question their decisions for fear they’ll be retaliated against. Jenna Granger, founder of Drop By My House, said, a common sign you’re being retaliated against is when “your role diminishes and other employees begin getting the lion's share of the work while you're stuck in limbo with limited information.” A few other signs your boss is retaliating against you is they
- Eliminate your position or department entirely
- Significantly increase or decrease your workload
- Set unrealistic expectations to set you up for failure
- Revoke personal development opportunities such as canceling a business coach, certifications or restricting resources
- Withhold a well-deserved promotion
Doesn’t Handle Criticism Well And Blames Others For Failings
While narcissistic bosses are eager to point out others’ flaws and tout about their own strengths, they’re quick to make excuses and dodge responsibility for their own errors. Rather than admit a mistake, they blame someone else or avoid it altogether. As such, this leaves a trail of chaos and destruction that their employees must clean up after.
Tyler Garns, CEO at Box Out Marketing, explained, narcissist bosses will never admit their faults because they think that they’re the best, and if errors are happening, it’s the team that’s incompetent.” Furthermore, when the team tries to provide constructive feedback on how their mistake impacted the business, the narcissist boss takes it as a personal attack and finds a way to retaliate against those who spoke up. Interestingly enough, narcissist bosses demand empathy, understanding and respect from others but can’t give the same in return.
Has No Respect For Others Or Their Time
Narcissist bosses are also micromanagers. Morton said, they “micromanage the workforce because it makes them feel important and like they’re in command, large and in charge. Oddly, they usually just make everything worse because they meddle where it’s not needed.” As a result, it disempowers employees to work autonomously, make decisions independently or think creatively.
Yet, micromanagers don’t care how their actions, behaviors or words impact others. They’re the type of person to hurt someone’s feelings and move on like it never happened without showing any remorse. Martin Seeley, CEO at MattressNextDay, said, “this kind of leadership results in poor team performance and relationships that are needed” to drive the company forward. Their lack of empathy prevents them from being able to understand how others feel. In turn, this hurts the company culture, employee experience and prevents the manager from forming deep relationships with their employees.
Narcissists are notorious for disrespecting others’ time by canceling and rescheduling meetings often or expecting others to be available at their convenience. Despite this having a domino effect on every else's day and the boss being seen as unreliable, the boss only cares about their own needs and goals to worry how their actions affect others.
Believes They’re Superior To Everyone Else
Although they’re expected to lead by example and be held to the same standard as everyone else, narcissist bosses believe that their ranking in the organization allows them to do as they please without repercussions. Likewise, they believe that rules and processes are optional and are only put in place for those inferior to them.
Regardless of the background and expertise another individual brings, it’ll never be good enough for a toxic boss. The reason is that narcissist bosses don’t see others as their equals. Garns, explained, narcissist bosses have the mindset of “without me, all of you will not be successful. They think everything is all about them and only believe in their own capabilities because no one can do it the way they can.”
In fact, narcissist male bosses are likely to be misogynists as well. Ben Lamarche, general manager at Lock Search Group, explained, “a misogynist prefers it when women conform to his vision of what women should be like. Anyone who doesn’t line up with this ideal is criticized as being too much and asked to loosen up a bit” Likewise, when a woman stands up for herself, she’s labeled as outspoken, aggressive or disrespectful so as to undermine and belittle her. Thus making it hard for her to succeed and advance within the workplace. Behind the scenes, the woman is fighting a battle she’ll never win in an effort to prove her worth. Despite how hard she works and the success she brings to the company, her achievements will always be overlooked and a pay (or job title) disparity will exist between her and men in similar roles.
Takes Others Ideas As Their Own
Narcissistic bosses don’t have time to set others up for success because they’re too worried about themselves. Harriet Chan, cofounder and marketing director at CocoFinder, said, “a toxic manager will always boast about their achievements and the power they possess within the company. They always want to appear important to other people and take credit for the work done by top talents.” The unfortunate reality is, narcissist bosses have high expectations of their employees but fail to acknowledge their hard work or ideas. For this reason, employees learn to introduce their own ideas in a way that makes their narcissist boss believe it’s their own. Therefore, their boss can take credit for it rather than disregard it.
