'I Charge My Family for Christmas Dinner'

I came up with the idea of charging my family for Christmas dinner shortly after my husband died in 2015. He passed away during the holiday season and while that year I carried on as normally as I could, my income had been halved.

So I said to my children: "Next year, you're going to have to contribute towards Christmas." I suggested putting a small amount of money in a jar, here or there, from September onwards and giving it to me in December. We did that for a few years, but it was stressful. Some people contributed more than others, and I had to keep chasing everyone up to pay—it was more trouble than it was worth.

Last year, we all knew cost-of-living was going to increase. My utility bills had already gone up and I knew the price of food would surge. So, I told my children that I could no longer wait for them to pay cash.

Asking my family to pay for Christmas dinner

I set down how much everything we ate on Christmas Day costs, so they could see what I was paying, and said: "I want a contribution from all of you bank transferred by December 1."

In my head, I obviously gave them a bit of leeway on the date—but I didn't tell them that. Otherwise they might be tempted to delay their payment. I didn't end up getting all of the transfers by my deadline, but by December 6 everyone had paid.

I have two sons and three daughters, plus their children. Altogether there's usually around twelve people coming for dinner, though there could be more. I charge £15 ($18) for my two sons and son-in-law, £10 ($12) for my daughters, £5 ($6) for the older grandchildren and £2.50 ($3) for the younger grandchildren.

My daughters occasionally moan about having to pay. They sometimes say it's not fair and that other people don't have to contribute to their Christmas dinners, but I just lay out how much it costs and say they're welcome to host themselves.

The cost of the meal varies every year, but usually I spend around £90 ($108) on meat alone—and I don't even eat meat. I'm a vegetarian, so if I was doing Christmas Day on my own, it wouldn't be nearly as expensive.

Typically, at my Christmas dinner, I serve turkey, pork and sometimes beef. There's a couple of vegans, so I provide a nut roast. I include roast potatoes, stuffing, pigs in blankets—which are small sausages wrapped in bacon—and sauces for the meat. I serve vegetables like peas and broccoli, but I don't bother buying brussels sprouts because nobody eats them.

My family doesn't have to bring anything on Christmas Day. I do all of the shopping, which ensures that people aren't bringing lots of the same thing. I know exactly what to buy to make sure there's no waste.

I remind all my children, from September onwards, to send their money. I say: "Don't forget, it's not fair if one person contributes and someone else doesn't." But if someone didn't pay beforehand, I'm not sure what I would do. I would probably name and shame them. I suppose I should say they can't come, but that's not really an option for me. Luckily, everyone has paid so far, so I haven't had to say anything.

Teaching life lessons

The reaction from the public since sharing my story has been crazy, I don't understand it at all. My children are embarrassed, because they get messages from their friends teasing them, but I just tell them not to take any notice.

I don't look at anything bad, so the comments I have seen have all been positive. I'm sure there are loads of negative comments, but I don't pay any mind to them. They're entitled to their opinions and that's fine.

In my eyes, you can't judge what someone else does. Every family has their own way of doing things.

I think contributing to Christmas dinner is a good life lesson for the kids. Why should the host pay for everything? In my opinion, it doesn't matter if they are a friend, a mother or a grandmother, it shouldn't really make any difference.

I know people say: "Grandmothers shouldn't do that sort of thing", but I'm not making a profit. What my family pays me is only a fraction of what it actually costs. If I was charging £50 ($60) per head to make money, then that would be awful, but that's not the case. So, I think it does teach a valuable lesson and I'm sure my children, when they host their own families, will carry that on.

Caroline Duddridge, 63, is a retired teacher based in Cardiff, Wales. She currently works as a supply teaching assistant.

All views expressed in this article are the author's own.

As told to Newsweek editor Monica Greep.