What's the point of the Golden Globes anymore? The awards show should never have returned

The Golden Globes came back last night. We were better off without them.

Yes, I'm talking about that awards show that's like the Oscars, only drunker, cruder and crasser. The Globes are like your least favorite uncle at a family Thanksgiving – everyone has to tolerate the show as a part of the Hollywood adulation machine, but they're also a bit embarrassed by it. 

I wouldn't fault you for not even knowing that the awkward third wheel of awards season aired Tuesday night on NBC. That's because the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which bestows the awards, was embroiled in scandals over the past few years over the lack of diversity in its membership and bribery and corruption allegations. Hollywood turned swiftly on the organization and its famously alcohol-fueled awards show as Tom Cruise returned his three trophies and studios and publicists threatened a boycott of the group. The 2022 pandemic-era Globes unfolded without an audience, a network home or nominees in attendance.

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But all's well that keeps the money flowing in Hollywood, apparently. After the HFPA added 21 Black, Latino, Asian and Middle Eastern/North African members last fall and promised other reforms, the Globes escaped from their time out. (NBC extricated itself from a deal that cost it $60 million a year for a one-year commitment at a sharply reduced price.) So on a rainy Tuesday in Los Angeles (a weekday chosen because of an extended NFL season), Hollywood put on the glitz and glam and turned out for the red carpet. 

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But there wasn't much in the 2023 Golden Globes that really justified its return. At a time when ratings for awards shows are crumbling, when the TV and film industries are going through major upheaval and when diversity and inclusion efforts in Hollywood are nowhere near accomplishing their goals, the Globes no longer feel as if they have a place. The show is a relic, as cheaply gilded as the gaudy statues the HFPA hands out. 

Tuesday's broadcast was an awkward affair, hosted by comedian Jerrod Carmichael, a huge talent who was completely out of place on the stage of the Beverly Hilton Hotel (which at one point he somewhat tastelessly referred to as the building that "killed Whitney Houston."). Carmichael's opening monologue addressed the racial controversies the HFPA faced ("I'll tell you why I'm here, I'm here 'cause I'm Black") but ignored the rest.

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He popped up too frequently all night, making barbs at the expense of Cruise and "The Little Mermaid" a bit too casually. It felt as if, at any moment, the buzz of audience conversations and clinking of glasses would drown out his attempts at jokes. The speeches were way too long at the start and droned on longer from there, pushing an already interminable event well over the three-hour mark. If Carmichael's jokes landed only sporadically, the presenters' barely touched the ground.

And sure, there were more winners of color than in the past few years, a few good speeches and standing ovations and lifetime achievement awards handed to Ryan Murphy and Eddie Murphy. Yet it all felt more fake and more hollow than the already curated, gilded production of other awards shows. It's just hard to believe that the actors and producers and directors from Colin Farrell to Michelle Yeoh to Steven Spielberg – who were oohing, ahhing and weeping over winning a Globe – were really that emotional being honored by a group they shunned a year ago.

When HFPA president Helen Hoehne came onstage late in the show to boast about the organization's changes, the response from the crowd was muted. And it should have been. The HFPA remains a small, mostly white, inscrutable, scandal-prone organization that wields an outsized amount of power in Hollywood. A few new members doesn't change that. 

Perhaps the loudest statements were made by those who didn't say anything. Many major winners, including Cate Blanchett, Zendaya and Amanda Seyfried, didn't even show up. When HBO's "House of the Dragon" won for best drama television series, only three members of the cast and crew were at the ceremony to walk onstage for one of the biggest awards of the night. 

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At the end of her long, winding speech, which was in many ways a repeat of her speech at the more-prestigious Emmy Awards in September, "White Lotus" star Jennifer Coolidge said "this is fun!" But fun for the people in the room isn't enough. Three good jokes in a 3½-hour broadcast isn't enough. 

Many times over the past two decades, awards shows proved must-see TV, when the producers and hosts and presenters crafted something nearly as entertaining as the movies and TV shows that were being called the best of the year. "Titanic" and "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" won best picture at the Oscars. Neil Patrick Harris danced and sang at the Tonys. Jennifer Lopez wore that dress to the Grammys. Even at earlier Globes ceremonies, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler spat out jokes that cut like a knife whether you were in the room or watching from home. 

Those days are over. Maybe it's time to rethink the awards show as an event altogether. The Globes would be a good place to start. 

Contributing: Marco della Cava