Mom Threatens To Cancel Daughter's Birthday Party Because She Wants To Invite Her Terminally Ill Dad

A mother’s strained relationship with her ex-partner and father of her daughter, Kelly, is getting in the way of her plan for her 17th birthday party.

Looking for advice on the situation, the mother posted about the issue on the subreddit “r/AmItheA--hole” (AITA) in order to figure out how she should move forward with her daughter.

Kelly’s father might be “terminally” ill and wants him to come to her birthday party.

In order to get the full picture of her relationship with Kelly’s father, she provides some context at the start of her post about what it was like to raise her.

“Her biological dad left when she was 4. It's complicated but despite him being away he still sent money or had his family help from time to time,” she started the post.

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“I still struggled a lot raising her til I met my now husband ‘Christopher.’ Christopher is like a dad to Kelly. He's the only father figure she had.”

Regardless, since they’ve always had a connection to her ex’s family, Kelly was able to reconnect with her biological father with the help of his mother.

She wasn’t happy about it when she found out, but originally didn’t make a fuss about it until things changed and Kelly started to get closer to him.

“Then she started mentioning him often, going to visit him while canceling plans to hang out with us etc,” she explained. “Her justification is that her dad is sick and might be (I say might because she's a child and may not know what it meant) terminal.”

The last straw was when Kelly asked to invite her biological father to her birthday party at their home since “he may not be able to be around next year.”

“Christopher said no immediately,” she wrote. “He said he won't let that man come into his house which made Kelly cry saying that we were robbing her of a last chance to make memories with her dad after finally finding him again.”

“I told her that I don't feel comfortable having him come to the house and be in the same room as him.”

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Christopher’s daughter (Kelly’s stepsister) thinks that they’re overreacting, and defended Kelly, saying that she wanted her biological father there to celebrate her birthday “so badly.”

“Christopher left the house and I snapped at Kelly and threatened to cancel the whole thing,” she wrote.

When things calmed down, they suggested that she go over to his place to celebrate with him, but Kelly explained that in his current condition, that wasn’t possible.

The people of Reddit were sympathetic toward everyone involved.

Her situation was tricky — everyone has very valid reasons for feeling the way that they do.

“As much as she wants to see her father, you are well within your rights to not want to see him,” the top comment read. “I can understand how incredibly jarring that could be for you. However, in your situation, the good thing to do would be to suck it up and let her see her father, it's her biological dad, this is what she wants.”

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They deemed her “Not The A--hole” (NTA), but also warned her that she should seriously consider her daughter’s wishes as she did say she would never forgive her if he didn’t show.

Many people did take issue with the mother claiming that Kelly might not know what “terminal” means, however.

“Saying a 16-year-old is a child and doesn’t understand what ‘terminal’ means is incredibly condescending,” another commenter wrote. “Said 16-year-old says this may be her last birthday with bio-dad. Sounds like she knows exactly what ‘terminal’ means.”

Another user defended her, stating that they took it to mean that she “might not know whether or not he is terminal,” not that she doesn’t know what it means.

After all, Reddit is full of skeptics and the users are no strangers to stories where parents who abandoned their children play up their illnesses in order to tug on their child’s sympathies and reconnect.

The consensus from users is that it’s ultimately the daughter’s choice, and should she disregard it, she’ll likely lose her relationship with her.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.